Justfindingmyself

WANTED

2012-01-28T06:29:00.000-08:00

Any old laptops, computer keyboards, and scrabble sets that you have please and thank you x

Update on rules

2012-01-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

Well I have a not been blogging on here for a bit because I'm in the final term for uni and things are a bit hectic. Keele emailed me and said that my course is full unless my next two marks are firsts (which they wont be) I'll be getting a 2:2 and I'm waiting on Birmingham to make a decision but I don't think it will be good. After that its Liverpool hope and Brighton which out of the two I would love to go to Brighton because its a really cool city and I reckon I would fit in. That's all that's developed really I will post when I have more to say. x

Unfulfilled

2011-12-31T11:34:00.000-08:00

I feel like there is a part of me that remains untapped this creative side of me wanting to come out. I want a house of my own so that I can put a stamp on it. Endless amounts of vintage material, things to make rings and accessories. Charity shops that contain all the best vintage clothes that I can easily refashion in one place. Oh I just want to do it all!!! I think its being under stimulated and spending far too much time on the internet And any way I have all summer on the dole to do that! (I may be able to get a job at Apple if Amy's bf pulls through but to be honest I'm not fussed either way I'm going to try and get back into a school and if I don't get a job then Joan has asked me to get back in the charity shop cos she needs some more volunteers which I don't mind as I got some good stuff there last time I worked. I just have to be careful not to spend my money on crap x

The change

2011-12-27T11:38:00.000-08:00

I'm going through a period of change again the one from youth into adulthood and in some respects from a child to a woman. I'm experimenting with clothing by wearing more dresses I intend to have my hair cut into what style I'm still deciding. I'm starting to care what people think of me but I am also old enough to know who's opinion to listen to. I know what I want and know how to get there. I know this blog is about me but I really do talk about my self too much any way here is what I looked like at my cannock crafties x-mas meal!

My living rules for next year (for myself)

2011-12-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

1. Now that I have subscribed to knit now I am not allowed to buy any other knitting magazines no matter how many nice things are on the front of it!
2. To watch my weight
3. To continue to work towards a 2:1 in my degree
4. To get into Keele uni
5. To sell things on Etsy and make a profit
6. To finish my jumper
7. To finish my picnic blanket
8. To sew my own dress
9. To be in love with someone
10. Fell like a success

Samsung Galaxy w user review

2011-12-08T05:26:00.001-08:00

OK so let me tell you my contract phone history my first ever contract was a Nokia E8 (I think) any way I basically wanted a blackberry but at the time contracts were way too expensive. Then I had the blackberry curve 8520 in fact I had 2 of them. I found them good but unreliable and they had really crap apps (none). Now I have the Samsung Galaxy Wonder I like the android system as I have a tablet that uses the same operating system.
Pros:

Android
Cheap £26 per month
Good 5mp Camera
Flash (on camera and Internet)
Very clear screen
Wi-fi and 3G
Tonnes of Apps
Capacitive touch screen
Clear sound
Large screen
Speak to write technology

Cons:

Battery life
Rim of screen is sometimes unresponsive
Easy to click wrong buttons on screen
Doesn't like sending text messages 1st time (that may be orange though)
Can have cheaper deals on other networks on the Ace
Doesn't allow you to use the flash if battery is below 30%
When battery is below 50% processor slows down significantly

So what do you think? Any others I have forgotten? don't forget to get in touch x

TUMBLR

2011-11-25T06:50:00.001-08:00

So I am back on the site after about a year of making a blog and then not using it. TBH I don't have enough creativity in me to make 3 separate blogs so my tumblr will mostly just pictures and rebloggs about knitting oh and a million more pictures of my hamster one of which already got featured on 'fuckyeahhamsters' and then got 50 notes on it!!! I'm such a stage mom when it comes to my hammeh god know what I will be like when I have actual human children.

Just a quick one

2011-11-23T11:39:00.001-08:00

so here are just a couple of pictures from sunday when i was making a little bag for pipins. I ended up accidentally going straight through my finger which really, really hurt . Needless to say i went to A+E just to get check out, they were really good and we were seen quickly and i went home just after an hour. The other pictuee is pipins inside it she really like it especially in this cold weather and i gave her an off cut in her bedroom and if was soon wrapped around her x

Social media

2011-11-22T11:12:00.001-08:00

Well another day another sob story I suppose; So I block some one on fb because all they do is bitch to me and about me so I blocked her. She then finds out that I blocked her and posts a really horrible status about me and goes on like I started it! I was like erm no! So now I'm reporting her to the police for a hate crime (homophobic attack). But what has upset me the most is other people who jumped on it saying all these horrible things about me or just liking the status and I'm like wooow where did this all come from. I have been nothing but nice to these people and now they are treating me like this. Also its like were 21 not firiging 12 why on earth is this even happening???

1st world problems I guess :(

Gone so fast

2011-11-19T15:08:00.001-08:00

Welk i only have 3 weeks left of thr first term of my third year of university. It really has gone fast this year mainly due to the fact that i just havent stopped working. All i have thought about and done during my days off (apart from the occasional sew) is uni work. I know its worth it in the end but i have been quite lonely this term as im only in basicaly one day week . on wards and upwards x

Update

2011-11-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

I wish I could tell you all the amazing things that I have done but to be perfectly honest I haven't done all that much 3rd year at the moment doesn't seem any harder its just way more work. I love my little break at sewing though and last week I went round one of the local charity shops and I found this lovely home made pinny:

Here is a close up of the pocket:

Here is a close up of the corner appliqué :

Collection

2011-10-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

I don't usually look at fashion but I stumbled across this video of the Elie Saab fall 2011 collection and I was mesmerised by how the collection fitted together and how even though it was simple it all looked really amazing just by the interchanging of small design features:

I have done some knitting

2011-10-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah I have I just completely forgot to take a picture of it! Doh! An I have been doing some sewing but I didn't go to my class this week as I had to go to Stafford hospital instead as regular readers know I have TMJDS which is Tubomandibular Joint Dysfunction Syndrome, basically I have lock jaw but its not tetanus! I went to the hospital on Tuesday and they finally gave me the injections I have wanted for ages!! Mind you it really hurts today but its getting better x
2 aesthetics and a steroid injection later it better be bloody fixed!!

Bottle bank

2011-10-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

Seen as I left my massive bottle with all my money in at home I made a smaller version with a 2L Pespi bottle instead I just stabbed at it with a knife in a basically rectangle like fashion big enough so you put money in it.

Pips

2011-10-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

I just got some pictures to show you as at the moment all I seem to be doing is work although today I went to my sewing class and made some real progress today (Pictures tomorrow), but I have some homework to do go knows when I'm going to fit it in possibly next Monday as it has to be done before I go in on Tuesday!
Any where here's my lovely little one:

Freshers

2011-09-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

Well its the end of Freshers week and I made the most of it with friends. I'm not the type of person who can just go out for no reason and with no one. So on Tuesday (after my first day at college, which I was half an hour late for because the postcode I was given sent me to Kidsgrove and not Longton) I went to see Wheatus who were well disappointing. The sound was off and we couldn't hear anything, the lead singer obviously was just playing because he was the lead singer he didn't care about his audience and certainly didn't connect with them and so we left. Then on Friday I went to the Ember lounge to meet with the LGBT society which I have now joined. I plan to go out with them on Monday but that all depends about the loan situation.

Back and raring to go!

2011-09-17T04:38:00.000-07:00

I went back to university on Wednesday and pipins went for the first time. I'm so exited about this year I can't wait. I'm sure in about 3 weeks time I will be moaning about how much work I have to do and how I want to go home and have a roast dinner! I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere I think that's the difference1st and 2nd year have all been leading up to this and now I'm finally here. :) I shall put up a picture of pipin's new home as he has had a hammy extension put on it which he loves!

Back to uni soon x

2011-09-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Its 10 days until I have to go back to uni until Christmas and I'm actually really looking forward to it and not just because my parents are annoying the hell out of me for once. I have so much planned and I feel on top of everything for once (perhaps not 100% but still more than I have to be). This year I can do it!

Skip diving!

2011-09-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

So I went back to stoke for a couple of days for the penultimate metapod be effective session and while I was there I noticed that there were a lot of skips around. This is mainly due to the fact that many landlords have only just finished cleaning the houses for the next intake of students that come into second year. While I was wandering I found a couple of things that caught my eye: And here they are a bed runner and cushion cover (the inner cushion was mine) I had to wash them, obviously, but I think they look great ! :)

Back to uni

2011-08-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of moving back to uni within the next few weeks and I have a couple more dates of the metapod training then its back for good (on the 14th by my reckoning). So if I don't post for a while its because I can't find my laptop under all the crap in my room lol x

I'm really exited to go back to uni as it will be my final year this year and I want to make it a good one socially and academically. x

Art gallery and zoo

2011-08-22T04:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the Birmingham university Art gallery about a week ago just to have a look at the exhibition that was there. They have some really interesting classical pieces from Monet to Pissaro and a few others from non impressionist painters. This is the one that I liked the best I did however forget to write down who painted it :/

I also went to Blackbrook Zoo in Leek which even though it apparently has money troubles at the moment was an enjoyable day out! Here is a picture of a cutes likkle MeerKat!

Here is the teddy that I just finished I didn't want to put it on my other blog because I'm not happy about how it turned out I don't like his body or leggs but hey ho he will still be very loved!

Busy, Busy

2011-08-16T12:24:00.001-07:00

Well I have been quite busy recently especially since the little furry one decided the night before last to escape go all around my room then decide to hide for an hour under my wardrobe!! I can't ever stay mad at him mainly because he is too cute! Here he is eating a strawberry x

Being on holiday gives me time to think about my life and such. I know that whatever I do in my life I feel like I have to decide now but in actual fact I have at least 2 years in which to make my decision. I have another year of degree (final year now woop) and then definitely a year of PGCE, even though nobody has any idea of how much its going to cost because the government apparently haven't decided yet on the funding for places. Then there is the idea about starting up my own business (see my blog justfindingmycraftyself)but like I said at least 2 years until I can do anything like that x

Finally I'm getting something done about my jaw I'm going back to Stafford hospital (have no idea when I suspect towards the end of September) and hopefully they will do something about my jaw!

New tablet

2011-08-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Finally my news I have invested in a new tablet pc its android, and I love it!!! In fact I'm using it right now!!
Here is the link to what I have bought:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B004MG46US/ref=oss_product

Car booting !

2011-07-31T10:38:00.000-07:00

And now for lots more photos as I went car booting this morning!!!

this is a necklace that I bought for 10p because I want it for the necklaces that I am going to make with bottle tops (beer, cider ones etc) ohh so many ideas!

I got these for a £1 which I thought was a bit excessive but they are pretty useful being double length and all!

This is a Per Una bag with really nice wooden handles that I got for a £1. I can't decide whether to use the bag as a bag or to just steal the sequins and the handles and then knit something! :))

Finally a picture of my new baby hammy Pipin! xoxo

Knitspiration1

2011-07-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

Found this in a lovely shop in B'ham and I also harassed the woman for some knowledge although she was only the assistant so I didn't get much, I got the deer trapped in headlights look x

Bags of bags

2011-07-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today its about bags dad has bought the above one back from the carboot sale for 50p I have just had a little look online and direct from the company they are about $70 which is about £50!! However there is a bit of a colour run but apart from that its pretty cool! :)
This one I made myself. The 'pattern' (which I put in inverted commas because its basically CO and knit) is from Stitch and Bitch: The knitters hand book which is the first in the series. I would recommend those books to any one! Not only do they have good patterns in them but the information and stories/ articles in them are also very interesting.

Well on Thursday the 30th I went to Stoke for training with a company called 'Metapod' and the course is about how to set up a business for those in the creative industries. It came to me through the university and I snapped up the chance, especially considering it was free. It was soo good, lots of information and it really made me think about my options. It made me think again about what I wanted to do. When I was about 18/19 I wanted to own a shop and I went to connexions and they told me to go for it. I think that I would be a lot further down the line on this if I hadn't been pushed into what I perceived would have been the wrong course and if we weren't in a recession. I'm very failure adverse and so it scares me to do some thing which I could fail at. Its re-lit the fire but someone's pissing on it. :)

Videos and pictures of everything!

2011-06-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Two obligatory pictures of my beautiful hammy I think the flash may have momentarily stunned him because he went a little still but never mind lol

This is the hat that I knitted from the Noah pattern from Let's knit.

And finally this is the rose that I knitted from the kit on the front of Simply Knitting magazine.

Here are some new vids and photos x

Finds at home

2011-06-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

Mummy found this out for me when she was tidying the back bedroom/ dump I am pleased that she did it looks like a cool book xD

Just some stuff I have been getting up to

2011-06-25T05:33:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my kitty this was taken when my parents where on holibobs, she decided that I wasn't spending enough time with her and so came to sleep on my bed with me she is quite an old cat now like 12 or 13 I can't remember as I was young when we got her. My mummy always tells the story of when we only just got the kitty and it yawned and I thought it was going to eat me so I cried.

This is an experiment that I tried to do with a Pizza box , some foil, and my chilli seedlings it looked like it was going to work even though the seedling tray was a little snug but I thought it would be ok.

However there was a slight tare in the foil and the water leaked all over the base :/. I was thinking that next time maybe i could use cling film instead x

Lonely

2011-06-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

Everyone keeps telling me how amazing being a student is for me it hasn't been this year and I don't know how to fix it. During the summer everyone gets on with their own lives. The last time I went out and got drunk I was with my sister and her 52 year old boyfriend and her friends. I don't have any friends where I live and if I got back to stoke I have no money and no friends so where do I go? What do I do? Tonight I tried going out on my own and I still can but I'm sitting in my room, in my going out gear and writing this blog trying not to cry. I'm probably just going to go to sleep now.

Lichfeild shopping

2011-06-20T05:58:00.000-07:00

Hey people!
These are the things that I got today from my hitting the charity shops along with a Stephen Fry book (Making History), I also got two books from the Works which sells cheap books one is The British Home Front Pocket- Book and another one called Street Knowledge by King Adz both of which are for my dissertation of course! ;) .
The dress is a Florence and Fred one and cost £4.99 the Dress making book was £2 and the hamster book was £1 ! All in all a good day!

Dissertation, knitting, work expereince.

2011-06-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

This is kinda how my week goes at the moment I started my placement last week and am actually enjoying it even though 97% of it is sat at the back of the classroom making notes and asking random pupils questions.
I don't have to go into placement on a Monday so I use that day for my dissertation and knitting (this also goes for Sunday) and I quite enjoy it at the moment because all my dissertation consists of now is reading all my knitting books.

At this moment in time I am knitting a hat which I have had to frog once because I managed to get it wrong (even though it is a beginner pattern), as I decreased too early! :)

xoxo

Baby hats and back to school

2011-06-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

This is the finished baby hat that I have completed for Mrs B I hope she likes it, looks a little cheeky to me!

Tomorrow I start my work experience at **** and I hope that I get some good experience that helps me in determining whether I want to do the job or not. I want them to give me some sort of responsibility other than photocopying but that will be difficult because I don't have my CRB check I have to be a visitor everyday but I don't mind that as long as I can get the experience that I want.
Wish me luck x

Baby hats and Anticipation

2011-06-10T06:34:00.001-07:00

My parents are arriving back in the country tomorrow afternoon and I really don't want them back mum is just going to spend all of her time disrupting the happy rut I got myself into, annoying the hell out of me, telling me I'm fat, telling me that I am lazy and just generally being a bitch. Then there is my dad who will undermine me, treat me like a child, and then not listen to me when I try and tell him things. When I tell people that my parents aren't good for me or that I hate my mother they think that I am joking or say that "she only does it because she loves you".
When some one loves you they aren't mean or nasty, aggressive or violent, damaging or destructive and my mother is all this and more.

I am currently working on a baby hat for a friend at Uni. It will be the same as the brain monster hat previously but in a different colour (lighter green, mainly because I cant remember f she has told me the sex of the child), if I get it done in time I will also make the mother a hat. Pictures will come as soon as I have finished it thanks to mobile Internet on my phone because the Flickr app I have has decided not to work again!

I found out one of my marks from last term I got an 11/15 on my exam which is good but because I got a 6/15 on the practice part it becomes a 10/15 overall which is better then I have been doing but I can still see my self falling slightly short of my 2:1 goal for my degree however this year is worth 70% of my overall grade so hopefully I will still get to where I want to go! :) Optimism and hard work that's what is going to get me through x

Charity and child

2011-06-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Guy's and Gal's! Got a couple of pictures for you today, above is the advert that the Cannock Crafties group had in the Let's Knit magazine which has now been moved to their website but any one can talk to me here or even on the blog itself! :)

Today I went to Chadsmoor with Mrs C from Cannock Crafties. We went to a yarn shop (she wanted protection ,I wanted to know where it was). Then we went to the charity shop round the corner, which is where I found the hanging basket made out of shell, I think its for plants, for 50p, So I bought 2!

Video's and pizza

2011-06-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

So I have been a bad blogger once again I think its because there is so much in my head at the moment that I can't seem to organise it in any coherent matter and therefore blog efficiently. I have been knitting though I have finished the back and a sleeve of my jumper (to be honest it seems far to hot outside to continue I don't know why this should matter but it does). I have done quite a bit for my bear and I have a commission for a baby hat which I am going to wait till next week to buy the wool for because I need something to do. I had the knitting girls over for the meeting at my house and we had a good time. x

today I promised my self some pizza probably from pizza hut and that's what I'm going to have. xD

Scarf and worry

2011-05-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll!

This is the Can Can scarf that I did, I found the yarn online at kemps wool shop (www.kemps.co.uk), and it was only £5.99 which is good considering its about £10 at Hobby Craft. I used a video on you tube to help me understand how to knit with the yarn which is this one;

I found this Video really good to use and easy to understand!

At the moment in Lucy world there is a little bit of worry mainly because I feel a sense of impending doom. I feel like if I don't know what I want to do and make plans to do it now that I will never amount to anything and I will be stuck with my parents forever! I DO NOT WANT TO BE STUCK WITH MY PARENTS FOREVER! Fate worse than death as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know what I want to do with my life, I have no idea what I'd be good at , at all I feel like I have been institutionalised in education so far I know nothing else and the idea of moving on is scary. Being an adult is scary :(.

Blogging

2011-05-16T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what has happened to my knit meter on the side of the blog they decided to tell me that I needed a new on because I have the old one but now it wont work and I'm doing everything right. Oh well I have actually quite a lot this month because I have been knitting my cardigan.
I have also bought a folder to keep all my notes for my dissertation in even though I have no idea if I have even passed anything from last term yet 25 days my arse! I feel like I can't even start until I know but then if I do badly I won't want to do anything at all. Limbo all over again!

Sunday's

2011-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

I have quite boring Sunday's mostly consisting of knitting (which isn't boring but there is only so much of double moss stitch you can do), and then I watch 5 episodes of some sort of Jamie Oliver show and then 5 episodes of Come dine with me. The one thing that Sunday's mean is that I do a lot of thinking, today I have been thinking about how much I want to be out in the world on my own. I want to be living in my own home/ flat that I have decorated to my own specifications, that has my own character in it. I want to be an adult right now I think I am ready however after my work experience this may be different.

I feel like I am in limbo not living in one place for more than 6 months at a time I am in university which means that its not my job and it wont be forever. I want my own house which will basically never happen because I will never be able to afford one which means that I can see myself stuck in this house with my mother forever. I could ask them for a deposit on a house and that's what I may have to do just to get out but I really don't want that hanging over me however I will have about £30,000 of debt where as my sister had about £10,000 ( and still has about £6,000 but doesn't know because student finance wont actually tell her).

I'm not really scared any more I'm worried that I wont achieve my goal of a 2:1 and then my goal of becoming a teacher. But I'm not at the moment scared of leaving uni which is a big difference that I have seen in the past couple of months I'm just getting on with it! :)

Day 30- Your favourite song this time last year

2011-05-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

I start off (mainly because blogger doesn't allow me to put photo's where I want/I'm too much of a fool to work it out) with my big news! This is my hammy he is called Geronimo and he is very cute and amazing! The only thing is my mummy doesn't know about him yet and I'm hoping that she doesn't cos she has threatened to take him out side and keep him there. Don't worry though we will have a argument and then she will leave him alone.
Here is him eating his food !
This is the material that I bought this morning from the mini market in St Salem's church (see I do go to church! lol). I got it for £1.50 and it is very big so I am happy, I am going to back the picnic blanket that I am going to knit with the wool that I was going to make a couple of years ago and because there is so much I suspect that it will make an appearance in the wool basket that I am going to re-upholster (if that is the word).

I have been a very lazy blogger and its because I am at home and for some reason that means that I'm not as glued to my laptop as when I am at uni. However this means that I am knitting more and I have started and made good progress on the back of the jumper that I started in January so it looks good for having it done this summer

Day 29- A song from your childhood

2011-05-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

I think everyone my age remembers this from their childhood.

I having a real mare today its probably stress and hormones but I'm towards the end of revising for my exams and my parents really aren't helping apparently I'm not allowed to get stressed I mean fuck off neither of them really know what its like to do a degree and yeah I'm a bit stressed not to mention ill so you know what go fuck your self!

Day 28- A song that makes you feel guilty

2011-05-01T04:24:00.000-07:00

I already used this one but its a good one :)

I have been doing my usual thinking about people that I do when I'm alone at home and I have been thinking what second year has done to people. For some people and these are the people that I have begun to think about it has really shown their true colours in regards to their life choices and behaviour. Some people act as you expected by acting like the self obsessed people you thought they were others surprise you in a bad way and let you down. But there are a few , a very few that make you think again about your assumptions about them in the first place and that maybe you should give them another chance and its those people with whom you will find the most happiness. x

Day 27- A song that you wish you could play

2011-04-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

If I bought a Ukele and could be bothered I'd like to play this....

On the same sort of note there is this massive buzz around Tumblr at the moment and while I do hold a Tumblr account I don't think I will be getting into this one mainly because I don't think its used by that many established knitters but also because its one of those things that fuels my paranoia I will be constantly checking other people's profiles to see if they have written anything about me its just not conducive to my mental health issues I don't think. :))

Day 26- a song that you can play on an instrument

2011-04-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

I knitted these flowers at my knitting club and finished them off at home :)

I can play this on my guitar (when I can be bothered lol)

Day 25- A song that makes you laugh

2011-04-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

I saw these guy's live and they were awesome :)

Day 24- a song that you want to play at your funeral

2011-04-15T01:42:00.000-07:00

I know its a few days late I have been in a transitionary period between uni and home and am already concerned about the relationship with my mother. I had to take some jeans back to asda and she just happened to start a conversation about going to slimming club. After dinner when i get two rounds of fruit bread with butter on them I was asked " what are you trying to do gain as much weight as possible?". We then proceeded to have the conversation that we always have where I tell how much I don't like what she says and then she yells at me saying that I'm being the same to her which is bollox! I just hope that I can get out of the house enough.

Day 23- A song that you want played at your wedding

2011-04-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

I love this song and for whoever I marry it will be the way that i feel about them .

Day 22- a song that you listen to when your sad

2011-04-07T03:14:00.000-07:00

This song makes me cry every time I listen to it and don't know why I only listen to it when I'm sad IT MAKES NO SENSE! hahahaha

Day 21- A song that you listen to when you're happy

2011-04-05T07:32:00.000-07:00

I really love this song!

I want to get back to my knitting again but with all this work hanging over me at the moment I know that's not going to happen so its back to doing it when I'm at home hopefully it will be ready for when I need it in the winter :)

Day 20- An song that you listen to when you're angry

2011-04-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

yeah baby!

Day 19- A song from your favourite album

2011-04-02T04:06:00.000-07:00

back to The Donnas lol

There are worse things I could do

2011-04-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

So I've been on the anti-depressants for nearly 3 weeks now and apart from epically removing any form of concentration they are keeping me sane I haven't had any massive lows and I haven't had any massive highs but I feel so calm and peaceful. The situation in the house certainly doesn't bother me that much and I don't have any pain in my chest and my jaw seems a little better. I get drunk really quickly but I don't drink that often any way and I still don't seem to get a hangover.

One more thing because these pills are making me not care so much about my house mate situation thing it makes it so easier to take things in. I know that I am not the problem and that the best thing to do is simply nothing. I am not doing anything to provoke or anger so anything that is done to me is done out of pure ignorance and stupidity. :) x

Day 18- A song that you wish you hard on the radio

2011-04-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

This is the only one I can think of lol apart from another Donnas track lol

Day 17- A song that you often hear on the radio

2011-03-31T07:14:00.000-07:00

Kerrang seem to play this a lot when I'm going to and from home to uni x

Day 16- A song that you used to love but now hate

2011-03-29T04:12:00.001-07:00

This is quite a difficult one :s

Just cos it was far far to over played!

Day 15- A song that describes you

2011-03-28T02:11:00.000-07:00

Before I post today's (yesterdays) video it was my birthday yesterday and I had a really good day actually I have a couple of presents to show ya'll :)). They are Kirstie's Homemade Home book to accompany the TV series, a Rocket Alarm clock where it propels a rocket across the room and you have to put it back on the stand to switch it off, A ring that it white gold and a very light amethyst, the pen that you can see above, some champers, Resses cups, Hello kitty shizzle cos its quite frankly not a birthday with out!, a slow cooker?? and i think that is it, if I have forgotten something then I apologise! :))

Day 14- A song that no one would expect you to love

2011-03-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

totally anti feminist video and song but damn is it catchy!

Day 13- A song that is your guilty pleasure

2011-03-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

Quite a few people know that I like this.

Day 12- A song from a band you hate

2011-03-24T02:06:00.000-07:00

I just really don't get this dude

I really want this top x

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33057&storeId=12556&productId=2328583&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=208525&parent_categoryId=203984&pageSize=20

Day 11- A song from your favourite band

2011-03-22T03:37:00.000-07:00

The Donnas an amazing band!!

Day 8, 9 and 10.

2011-03-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

Have been to the boyfriends this weekend and so I'm filling for the days that I missed :)

Day 10- A song that sends you to sleep, I cant sleep listening to music so I'm going to do the song I mostly hear before going to sleep

Day 9- A song that you an dance to

Day 8- A song you know all the words to.

Day 7 - A song that reminds you of a certain event

2011-03-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

Leeds Festival.

Day 6- A song that reminds you of somewhere

2011-03-16T04:38:00.000-07:00

University

Pancakes

2011-03-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

forgot about this

Day 5 - A song that reminds you of someone

2011-03-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

The First one reminds me of the drunken texts I sent to my boyfriend on a really good night out and the second one of my friend Amy who went round saying the word 'shoes' in the way they say on the video for a full year before checking if I had seen the video I had no idea what she was on about lol

I have been prescribed anti- depressants on a trial for 14 days in which time I am going to be visiting B's parents and I will be at home. I just wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

Day 4- song that makes you sad

2011-03-14T07:04:00.001-07:00

Always gets me! So much emotion x

Day 3- A song that makes you happy

2011-03-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

Its so funny!!

Cool

2011-03-12T08:54:00.003-08:00

Head-Banging School Band Plays Rage Against The Machine - Watch more Funny Videos

Found this on my friends blog then stumbled then added !

Day 2- Least favourite song

2011-03-12T07:29:00.000-08:00

TBH anything by this kind of mass produced indie shite I hate

30 day song challenge day 1- Your favourite song

2011-03-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

Quote :)

2011-03-10T13:03:00.001-08:00

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself; I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

3rd year

2011-03-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I'm really worried about next year I've just got to do my dissertation in the summer and then the rest of the time can be spent on my optional modules excluding my dissertation next year is 18,000 words and my dissertation is 10,000 all together (its split up between 2,000 and 8,000 words this also doesn't include the literature review that I have to do). Just thinking about it fills me with dread I know I can complete the work its just to what standard that I don't know I can do.

I have been recommended the website LOOKBOOK.nu which is a really nice informal website that people upload what they are wearing for other people to look at. There are several options you now have as a user to comment (with a heart), to 'hype' (like the facebook like function) and to fan (like the twitter follow function). All the boys and girls on the web site usually follow the same body type thin, long hair (short for boys), tall, mostly white, and the either look how much fun I'm having or the "I'm so obscure and amazing" T4 presenter look. I can understand this sites uses but all I can think when I look at it is I don't fit in to that type of person and I will never look like that! No matter how many clothes I buy that are of that type, how many times I go to the gym (even though I mostly manage only once a week but then I do go into Hanley another day, but I still appreciate that I don't do enough exercise), how many time I say no to something bad more me there are 5 times I say yes. It hurts me to look at those photo's of pretty girls in their pretty dresses. I look at the few and far between fat girls and they don't get ridiculed or bullied but I think that if these people were to meet in the street then they wouldn't be the same.

As usual major mare about nothing

Solitary sister

2011-03-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

I'm so angry at the moment things are starting to get me down I feel trapped still. Even when I go home I'm just going to be trapped somewhere else with no one to go out with and no where to go. At least when other people go home they have friends to go back to, I don't no one gives a shit about me in Cannock and very few do in Stoke. I just feel so alone. Me and B aren't going to last I think I have convinced myself of this its gotten to the point where I feel like I am just going through the motions and I know he is too I felt it. Of course this my just be because I have nothing better to do but sit in my room and think about how shit I feel right now. There is NOTHING going on in my life I live in a house with only 1 person I can say that I actually like right now. The other 2 drive me fucking mental.

It would be better that if when I wanted piece and quiet I could actually get it 'cos I can't at the moment my room because its part of the downstairs is more or less communal I can't blame certain members of the house but others completely disregard the respect that I give them in the house and don't give me any in return. I just wish they'd fuck off back home or just any where where I am not!

My new video:

Swamped

2011-03-04T05:23:00.000-08:00

I do feel a little swamped at the moment which as usual is having the adverse effect on me of not wanting to do any work. I am ahead of other people I know it but those other people get better marks then me any way. I know I can do this I get so frustrated though because I want to be known as the intelligent one but when I get 5's what are they going to think! I know that what other people think isn't important but you can't live your life not caring because then you get to the point where you hurt or make people dislike you. But being overly concerned with others and their opinions of you is a sign of low self esteem. Oh well any way going to hand some work in now :)

Thinking of doing this on my blog, What do you think?

day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Good video to watch

2011-02-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

I saw another one on Narcissistic Personality Disorder but I don't know if this is more appropriate for who I'm thinking of (not myself this time)

Back to the future

2011-02-27T01:50:00.000-08:00

Being back in my, what I consider to be my old room, is kinda weird because all the stuff that is here is the stuff that I forget about but holds a lot of memories like my old diaries and stuff from when I was really, really fucked up. I can't decide if I'm still fucked up or if I'm OK or not.

Really intelligent girl right here...

2011-02-23T10:05:00.001-08:00

Tolerance and hate

2011-02-20T05:49:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to decide if I am a tolerant person or not sometimes I can see the best in people that no one else can other times people can be trying to convince me that my opinion about someone is completely wrong. However, if I have taken a disliking to someone its usually because they have treated me badly or they have displayed characteristics similar to my mother.
With some people I can try and try and try and never really give up. That's more with my mother tho I hope that she will change and change she doesn't, and yet I will continue to try and make her proud of me and make it so she can't say anything bad to me but I know that will never happen. The worst thing she ever said to me is when her mom died that I would be sorry when she died because I would regret the things that I have said to her. I honestly don't think that I would because if I have said something then its in a reaction to her behaviour. I have proved to her again and again that I am the opposite of what she thinks of me and yet the same shit flows out of her mouth every time.
The next person who made me think about this shall remain nameless. With this person I have face to face been extremely helpful and kind however behind her back I haven't been as nice but that's because she is honestly not a nice person . She can be superficially nice and you can get along with her but then she treats you like absolute dirt if you dare to pick her up on any thing that she has done wrong or try and correct her behaviour even though she will quite happily comment on yours. Her behaviour is so deviant, so abhorrent I just can't forgive because for every one time she is nice to me there are a thousand times she is mean and horrible. I'm at the end of trying to be nice any more I have tried and tried and tried but I don't seem to be getting any where with her. As the old phrase is you don't fight fire with fire, you fight it with water. I don't have any water left in me for this person I don't even WANT to try any more. Is giving up on someone worse than trying and failing?

Work,sleep,play,work,get angry,sleep.

2011-02-17T02:55:00.001-08:00

So I am going back to the dentist to complain about my jaw because its getting to the point now where its affecting my work because I can't do any thing if I have a massive headache all the time. I went to make an appointment at the doctors but it was closed FAIL.

I have been working and working and that is it I have done nothing else. I feel like I'm stuck in a perpetual motion machine churning round and round, but when I don't do any work any way I feel guilty for not doing any thing but I know I'm way ahead. I want to do something that is creative but my mind is filled with what I have to do and I just can't get inspired by any thing. I don't know but I think roller skates will help :)

Lets do the time warp again!

2011-02-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in the 1950's with the attitudes that get banded around in my presence. Now I like to think that I respect peoples opinions but when those opinions aren't based on fact but on prejudice for me and ignorance on their part. I'm finding it difficult to hold my tongue or defend myself in a way that I don't get intensely personal or angry. I suppose a lot of people reading this will be like well just don't say anything but I have come from a place where I have always been told that to make friends or be popular that I have to keep my opinions to myself which I think is just the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Said person keeps undermining me in conversations and on the internet and talking to my FUCKING boyfriend to prove how amazing she is and like a man she is FML! Then of course I have my actual boyfriend who loves telling me what to do. "We're going to loose weight after x-mas!", "Change your picture to the one with both of us", "cover up your fat". That last one really gets me because its because I know it comes from his own insecurities but really??

Love this video: makes me cry!

2011-02-12T14:02:00.001-08:00

Week 4

2011-02-11T02:39:00.000-08:00

I think that the best thing to do if you want to get to know someone is to live with them you will find out how truly annoying they are hopefully I'm better at dealing with this, this time round.

I thought I had found a way my little piece of world to my self but they had to go and invite themselves and then I had to invite B so that they thought I was going with him as a date thing and now he wants to come every Tuesday as well. Its nice but I just wanted my own little piece of world to exist in that I could be myself and not have to think about any one else and that's what the music and the place did to me before that's why it was so special. I feel that I am quite and open person but this means that when I do find things that only I know about or only I like if some one else moves in on that then I feel like its no longer mine. I knew that they would ruin it if they knew about it and went telling me that it was 'too loud' or shit music or just that they didn't agree with my opinion about it. I haven't bothered to defend it to them they wouldn't understand why I liked it in the first place. I don't want my only alone time to be in the library or when I'm doing work which to be fair isn't really alone time in this house any way. :/

I just wanted to get away from everything for a couple of hours a week I can't go home because I wouldn't get any piece of mind there would I? Can't decide what to do about it whether to just say to them of they try and come again the truth or just to not go any more and find something else. They're even trying to get in on my knitting now!

I'm sure I will feel better when I'm doing my work and not thinking about it all the time.

101 post

2011-02-06T02:01:00.001-08:00

These two images are the reason why I chundered on Thursday night deep fried Mars bars and apple fritters man I felt soo bad!

Well I'm home for the weekend after my shocking week last week I needed to re- group I think and get my game face on. I was going to try and pick up my sax but then realised that my stupid frigging lock jaw meant I couldn't! damn nation! So I will have to turn up with a doctors note I think hehehe. Still haven't the SD adapter for my camera so I can transfer the videos across but I'm going to see them on Tuesday again so I will take my video camera then and it will be in HD quality!! I'm just hoping that it captures my imagination like it did last time! :)

I haven't been feeling very well recently but after what just came out of me (TMI) I think I will be ok GEEEZUS! :)

I'm feeling better about things than I did last term which I think will reflect on how well I do as others in the house who spend less time caring about what certain people do got better marks so hey lets give it a whirl! I do think that because I'm in the room I'm in I get disturbed more when I'm trying to do work or sleeping not intentionally of course although sometimes they haven't exactly said sorry but any way so its either going to the go the library more often or listening to music in my ears whilst studying. With the sleeping thing I think I will have to speak to certain people about keeping the noise down and NOT SLAMMING THE FUCKING DOOR WHEN THEY FUCKING LEAVE!

Mind officially blown!

2011-02-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

Wow just wow. This evening I was walking from my boyfriends house and I heard this music coming from The Graduate. It was blusey and saxaphoney and just beautiful jazz with proper rock and roll I literally am speechless I feel like crying I'm so happy! It was just amazing. I have taken some videos but cant get them on to my blog till the weekend but I'm so blown away its a chance encounter but apparently they are there next Tuesday so I'm definitely going back through hell or high water! I'm so tired now its like half 1 I don't reckon I will sleep much. I feel like I have been missing this my whole uni and I have heard the music before but tonight it just called to me! It told me that I had to go in and have 1 cheeky pint and listen and be there in that moment. That moment like a chance encounter a look across the dancefloor where you fall in love. I cannot explain how I feel right now at all cannot explain. I was talking to the saxophone player and he said I should go and join them next week which I think will be too much I just hope they are there for a while so I can get good and play with them. This is what I need.

My new video

2011-01-31T14:10:00.000-08:00

hope you like it!

Inspiration

2011-01-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

I have been looking at other people's tumblr blogs and it made me realise that people I know I either know really well or not at all to be honest. Don't know why I wrote this but I just thought ya'll might want to know.

I feel so under stimulated again when I am at uni I look at the same things on the internet and talk to the same people and avoid the others. I think if I stumbled (stumble.com) a bit more then perhaps I would see slightly more things.

like this: i am in a constant battle with my mind. i go from thinking that i am special for being "intelligent" to realizing that being aware of my being special is, in fact a sign that i amjust seeking attention and simply something i like thinking about myself. then i realize that being aware of that fact counter-acts itself, and i am stuck in an endless paradox of myself. i have not yet learned how to stop and just say "it doesn't matter"

I have bought a canvas, some paint brushes and some acrylic paint and one day this year I will put them all together.

I have few friends outside the house that I live in and those that I do have I rarely speak to and I know that if I wasn't here they wouldn't know the difference. Not one of them actually cares about me what I have to say what I feel. I care about them, I'm interested in them obviously that's just not enough. Maybe its just that I need that little bit of extra confidence, attention I cant think of the damn word right now! Any way one of the things that really annoys me about being me is the fact that in most things I seek perfection and when I don't get it I get angry and then I cry.

Really thinking about the Chinese round the corner now.

And it begins!

2011-01-28T09:24:00.000-08:00

I have started this is exam prep work although its difficult for this subject as the lecturer hasn't told us whether for the exam we need to know everything or just 3 of the topics. Lecturer B is an idiot though to be honest he never answers a direct question he tells you things when he thinks that you need to know them which is always too late and then you don't do the best work you can. I have been asking around (I'm sure I said this before but I'm going to tell you again any way) and the woman lecturer that gave me a 5 pretty much gave every one a shitty mark so I know that no matter what I wrote she wouldn't have given me anything above a 7!!

I WILL GET A 2:1 CLASSIFICATION OF DEGREE. This is a promise to myself that I have made and I WILL do every thing I can form this year onwards to do so.

So any way I have done a bit of knitting here and there I have finished all the increases for the sleeve and I just have to do the long bit then the decreases I don't know whether to do the other sleeve afterwards or to do the other parts first I think I may end up doing the either the back or one of the front parts then going back to the sleeve because if its too monotonous then I will get bored and not do anything for months on end.

On the aims side of things the food isn't going to well but better then had I not made the aims and I have been averaging the gym for twice a week which is good. A good idea that I saw on a website (that I can no longer remember) which said that if you go on Monday then you get in the frame of mind to go again and it seemed to work for me so far.

Conversations on the internet.

2011-01-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

The message I received

Subject:FUCK YOU!!
Date:

25 Jan 2011

Message:

wat u sayin i cant spell well at least i can make a video of something u litle prik and ur probley amrican and think your a gangsta when your really a twat y dont u go and beat up some hores mainly evryone in your country!!

What I posted back:

OK well the email you just sent me is in English so bad that I cant even understand half of it. I am English person living in England. I suggest you get some lessons yourself.

This is your email:

This is what it should look like:

What are you saying? That I can't spell? Well at least I can make a video of something you little Prick and you're probably American an think you're a gangster when you're really a twat (not actually a word) . Why don't you go and beat up some whores, mainly everyone in you're country.

Above I have corrected the grammar and spelling to the best of my ability I hope that you learn something from it. :)

I love the internet sometimes :)

Eleanor Roosevelt

2011-01-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

Great minds discuss ideas

Average minds discuss events

Small minds discuss people

I hope to gain inspiration from this.

Week one

2011-01-21T03:31:00.000-08:00

I haven't done anything this week mainly because in uni terms 'teaching starts' which actually means that only two of your lectures out of 3 are on you get drunk and then spend the next day in your living room feeling half dead 'cos your body is processing the epic amounts of alcohol you consumed the previous night. One of my marks got upgraded to a 9 cos they lost some of my work (one page) and they were just like its obviously our fault here's a 9 so slight win there the 5 is still disappointing but there is nothing that I can do apart from up my game in regards to how I finish off my work and go over it more at the end. My parents have just arrived and I'm still in my pjs so see ya!

Why do I bother?

2011-01-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

I honestly don't know why I bother to go back to uni when so far I can only achieve a 8 and a 5. I tried so hard to get it right this time and there was so little point I couldn't even get above a 2:2, I have been to study skills so many times and I have gone through it with them and my lecturers and they always say the same things I don't understand why it wont go in! My mum said I was lazy for not getting a job at uni but I can hardly cope as it is. Marks really count this year its worth a 1/3 of our degree and it's not like I haven't spent all the time that I can doing my work. My lecturer says that she can see that I know my stuff but that its the way that its presented that's the problem which only accounts for a few marks not enough to get me a 2:1 or anything. My other lecturer said that he thought that I work too hard and get myself stressed, if I work any less then I wouldn't get anything!

I just want things to be easier people seem to be able to get 12's and 13's coming out their arse and I struggle to get a 10. I have tried and I do work every day! One of my resolutions was to make decisive action but if I do that now I will just get up and leave. So many people have offered help but I'm sick of having to fight or having to go back over it again and again when I have received a shitty mark.

I have a plan of action devised and hopefully that will get me through the next terms work I don't know what to do any more. I seem to start afresh every term because they have said the same things to me before or I get over one thing and then there is a problem with something else.

Back to uni

2011-01-16T14:04:00.000-08:00

Well as the title says I'm back to uni and feeling more positive. I left it till the last minute but to be honest the last week was hard mum had started to get back on the loosing weight band wagon and therefore had decided that I needed to start too as per usual. When my sis gave me a Nike pedometer and watch thing she said "but you don't move". So I told her to fuck off. I just don't understand sometimes she's trying to be funny and it doesn't come off other times she just 'doesn't think' which is an excuse that my dad uses a lot but to be honest it doesn't wash with me because even if you don't think you should know how to treat people but never mind she isn't here now

xoxo

Cushion

2011-01-14T10:40:00.000-08:00

As promised this the finished, completed cushion that has taken me about a year ! LOL any way I started off with my completed latch hook design (the zebra print), some plain white fabric and an average sized cushion. The design came up just slightly smaller than the cushion. I backed it leaving about an inch using white cotton thread with 2 layers of running stitch and I hemmed all the sides of this piece of material. I cut 3 pieces of fabric in all one for the backing and 2 to create the flaps. With both of the flaps I hemmed the edge that you will see but not the others and to attach them I also used running stitch, mainly because I am lazy but if you think that another stitch will work better then do that! The picture below is what it looked like after I had added one of the flaps. Both flaps are attached on 3 sides (top ,left and right)

This picture below is what the back of the finished product with both flaps attached.

This is the front of the finished product of the cushion perhaps it would be better slightly plumper but I am happy with it! :)

24 hours

2011-01-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

Mood: miserable

I was really depressed last night and had trouble getting to sleep I felt suicidal again after writing out a note I decided that I was going to keep a note of all the times that I felt like this to show the doctor so that I will either get more counselling or pills just so that I can mange with out resorting to measures like getting ridiculously drunk or other self destructive behaviours. I've thought of taking drugs, smoking and even cutting myself. I have asked for help so many times I have lost count. I'm just so sick of the way that I feel right now. I'm sure people think that I am pathetic and that I have nothing to be upset about and to be honest I'm sure there would be a lot of people who would like to be in my position in uni doing well. I feel really alone at the moment as I don't have any friends while I'm at home and I kinda don't feel like I have any at uni to be honest but that might be just the way that I feel right now.

Any way I have very nearly finally finished my latch hook cushion and so the pictures will be up tomorrow :)

Skinny Lemon and Poppy seed muffins

2011-01-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Today I made 'Skinny' Lemon and poppy seed muffins because my mum's friend is coming over and I got bored and I'm sure the gals at 24 Conway Street will also enjoy them ;).
I started off combining the dry ingredients which were:

2 1/2 cups of flour

1 1/2 cups of flour

1/4 cup of poppy seeds

zest of 4 average to large sized lemons

1 table spoon of baking powder
Then I mixed the wet ingredients in which were:

1 tablespoon of veg oil or other non taste giving oil

3 eggs- lightly beaten

juice of 4 Lemons (the ones you zested)

1 1/2 cups of low fat natural yoghurt
This is what they looked like when they came out I think if they were in those stiffer cupcake cases made out of rubber type stuff they would rise more I didn't want to put any more in the cases 'cos I had one escapee anyway. I think they are really nice and light and they taste awesome! In my humble opinion any way!

xoxo

Standing small

2011-01-12T02:42:00.000-08:00

Facebook is one of the best and one of the best and worst inventions of our time, I find that it causes me a lot of problems . I posted a song that I really like to listen to when I'm in a club. Now I'm no connoisseur of music and like I said in the last post am really looking hard at what I like in regards to music. So anyway I posted this song thinking that people were pretty much going to ignore it but 2 people pipe up to say that they dont like it. My first reaction is to ignore them, my second reaction is to delete it but I don't do that, then my 3rd reaction is to have a go I remembered that one of the respondents likes a very overplayed Eminem and Rhianna song and I then told him to jog on.

It seems that this particular person enjoys commenting on my status' and when he thinks that he has something on me to make me look stupid or bad he does it. I feel sorry for this person because in my humble opinion they are a looser having to re-take his first year, spending all his time playing dubstep or on the x-box rather than doing what he was supposed to. I think he has friends possibly some more than me but I know people say that he acts strangely or that he becomes upset with people for things that he shouldn't get upset about. I think its little bit that he has moved in with others that display this behaviour on a regular basis preferring to have a go at people on FB rather than in person and I think some of it is that he feels at a disadvantage to people and as another friend of mine put it if he feels like he has something on you he is the first person to say something. Its beginning to get really annoying because it seems like nearly everything I write he has something to say about it. I suppose it just shows that I have more interesting things to say than anything that's going on in his life right now.

xoxo

Finally finished :)

2011-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hi guys! This is the embroidery that I have completed today, I bought a cheap photo frame from Wilko's to stick it in I hope you all like. I know the picture is a bit small but flickr is being difficult lol. Any way I'm pretty proud of this its not perfect but its the first embroidery that I have done and its looks pretty good :).
These are the long awaited pictures of the hat that I knitted for a friend of a friend that is pretty tidy too I did finish this in September when I was in the house on my own after the argument with my mum but the pictures were on my phone for aaages and I only just downloaded the flickr app for my bbery.

xoxo

No Idea

2011-01-11T03:32:00.000-08:00

I spent yesterday embroidering a kit that I had bought from the charity shop I have nearly finished and am quite happy with what I have achieved considering that I haven't done it before and that I usually look at these things and run a mile because I think they're too hard. Picture up as soon as possible when I have finished I reckon tomorrow evening maybe just in case I don't finish it today I hoping that I can because I still haven't finished my cushion cover. I have finished the latch hooking part but I haven't made it into a cushion yet which is kinda annoying considering I have had it all ready for about 6 months now.

Since lime wire went down I haven't been able to illegally download music any more because when I tried using torrents I got a bad virus and lost everything on my computer!! So I have been good and bought everything off i tunes and I started again really thinking about what I listen to and like rather than just listening to things that are popular or that other people do. I think this is a step in the right direction as at the start of uni I have been very confused as to who I am and part of that is because I have let people influence me too much in what they like. This means that if I want to buy any albums etc: I have to make sure that I have listened to the songs and that I actually like them or they will benefit me in some way but I still have to like them.

I'm worried that I'm so positive now but that as soon as I return to uni that things will go back to the way they were and that I will just be walked all over again and go back to how I felt and how people were treating me. I need to face up to the fact that I can't please people and if they really made me feel like that then I shouldn't try.

xoxo

So many thoughts

2011-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

Pattern update: (new years resolution)I have cast on the sleeves 3 times but now I think that I have got it which makes me exited because now all I have to do is a few more increases follow the pattern and then the decreases. Then another sleeve and the rest of the garment lol I'll be done soon enough hopefully :)

I was watching the American version of wife swap this morning and it got me to thinking about how much money I would be happy with and how much it would take for me to be happy with what I have. I don't see myself as particularly materialistic I have a blackberry, a laptop and a new I-pod, but I could afford to have more and choose not to, although as soon as knitting patterns can be easily transferred onto tablet or something of that sort I'm getting one lol. I don't crave for shopping every day and don't feel that I need to wear stupidly expensive clothes or at least if I do I buy them at TK maxx for less than retail price (got a French Connection top for about £15). I would like a lot of things in the house that I will eventually rent (more likely until my parents kick the bucket) to be second hand or hand made/modified which is why I'm building up a skills base now, well I'm trying to really hard but machine sewing scares me lol.

My dad said that he thinks that you need enough to be comfortable but other then that its just surplus which I suppose is correct. I think I'd but more things in charity shops if I lived in London or somewhere posher even Lichfield has gone down since the recession. I did find a nice embroidery in a charity shop the other day but I hardly find clothes any more although if I remember correctly that's because I no longer work in one.

xoxo